20th September, 2019

On the Origin of Speeve-cies

“I’d be a great Estate Agent! I’m a people person! And I love Monopoly!”

Does that quote annoy you? It annoys me. A lot. Like Debbie in accounting who calls herself a “musician” because she does karaoke, or her husband who fancies himself a “comedian” because he did an open mic once. The false equivalency, it burns. The goggles do nothing. Come on now, Debbie. Sing one of yours this Friday. For me.

Unfortunately in a specialised field like the Property game, this is something we know recruiters, HR teams and managers are faced with on a daily basis. Maybe not word for word, although that’d be hilarious. But how many times have you been interviewing for a Property Management gig and your bright eyed, sharp dressed candidate spieled on about their transferrable hairdressing skills? I rest my case.

It’s not so much a pet peeve, but a wild apex predator peeve. A preda-peeve, if you will. We feel it.

I’m going to talk at you a little today about some of the peeves we know you have. It’ll be cathartic. It’ll be helpful (I promise). And most of all, it’ll be completely irreverent of the English language and scientific scholarship. So, fun!

THE FOOD CHAIN OF THE PEEVE-CO SYSTEM

Pleeves (Thornicus Sideicus)

This is where it starts. Ground level. The leaves on the ground. As good a metaphor as any for the hundreds upon hundreds of CVs (PVs, I’m not even sorry) you need to wade through to find the handful of suitable candidates for your shortlist. Maybe one in ten meets the brief, one in twenty actually looks good? We know; it’s not quick, it’s not fun and it’s not profitable. And the first rule of business, as we all know, is if you’re going to lose money doing something it had better be fun.

It’s almost as bad as…

Her-peeve-ores (Flyina Ointmentia)

The next step up. You have your shortlist! Some pretty-on-paper, ideal hires you want on your team. Sweet. Let’s give ‘em a call.
Who’s first? This guy? Looks good.
Ring Ring… “Hello! It’s Andi here at Totally Rad Esta…” CLICK

Oh. They hung up. Rude. No biggy, who’s next? Oh yeah, she’ll be ideal. Let’s go.
Ring Ring. Ring Ring. Ring Ring. Ring Ring. Ring Ring. Ring Ring. Ring Ring. Ring Ring…


Ugh. Shake it off, shake it off. Third time’s the charm. This lady’s a professional, she’ll want in for sure.
“It has not been possible to connect your call. Please try again later.”


…At this point I’m starting to take it personally.

Apex Preda-peeve (Painida Buttsica)

Finally, someone answered the phone. You’ve got them booked in for an interview now! Go you, you go-getter you. Here he comes now.

Oh. Oh no. This dude suuuuuuuucks. He knows he’ll be talking to like, humans, right? He’s done this before? Quick, double check.

Okay, three years with a local property management company! We can work with that! We can… He was a what? A contract cleaner? A contract cleaner. Did he read the spec? I’m getting the impression that he didn’t read the spec. Ask him if he read the spec.

Okay he read the spec but thinks he has “transferable skills and inside knowledge”? Is that what you need? No? Let’s umm… Let’s say we’ll let him know. That’s twenty minutes we’re not getting back. Any others today? …No?

Aaaaand back we go to the Pleeves.
It’s the circle of life, and it moves us all.

Lucky for you, Full Picture are built from the ground up to handle exactly these problems for you. We’ll source for you, we’ll vet for you and we’ll make sure the only candidates you meet are the ones you want to meet. We have property industry veterans on hand who know exactly how to find your hire, and our bespoke video profiles will give you the key info you need at a glance – plus a little taste of who they are as a person. And a person is what you need, after all.

Give us a call on 01489667033 today to get the Full Picture and we’ll save you from the preda- peeves. We’re dashing like that.